Hina and Saad: a Birmingham to Lahore rishta that took its time
Discover how Hina and Saad navigated long distance, visa waits, and family expectations to build a beautiful life together in Birmingham.
On this page
The ping of an email at 7:30 a.m. on a rainy Tuesday in Birmingham made Hina pause with her tea halfway to her mouth. Across the world, it was early afternoon in Lahore, and Saad was already typing a WhatsApp message. After nine months of paperwork, embassy appointments, and endless waiting, the UK spouse visa had finally been approved. It was the quiet, administrative end to a transatlantic search that had started with a reluctant conversation over samosas a year and a half earlier.
The pressure of thirty-one
Being thirty-one and unmarried in a tight-knit British Pakistani community usually means fielding questions at every family dawat. Hina, a clinical pharmacist in Birmingham, had spent her twenties focused on her career and buying her first flat. Her mother, originally from Jhelum, had tried traditional rishta aunties, but the suggestions rarely aligned with Hina's values or professional life.
The distance was another hurdle. Hina was open to relocating within the UK or marrying someone from Pakistan, provided they understood the realities of her daily life. But filtering through casual profiles on mainstream apps felt exhausting. She wanted serious intent.
Eventually, her mother suggested PakSouls. They created a joint profile, using the platform's feature that allows a parent to co-manage. Every message her mother sent was clearly labelled on behalf of, which gave them both peace of mind. They kept Hina's photos restricted to approved connections, relying on the verification badges to ensure they were only speaking to real, serious families.
Connecting across continents
Saad, a thirty-three-year-old civil engineer in Lahore, had a verified profile complete with an education badge. He was looking for a partner who valued family ties but also had her own independent ambitions. When Hina's mother sent a connection request, Saad's family reviewed the basic details and accepted. Only then did Hina adjust her photo privacy settings, unlocking her pictures for them to see.
Because contact details remain hidden until approved, the initial chat happened entirely on the secure platform. Saad's older sister and Hina's mother exchanged the first few messages. Once both families felt comfortable with the basic background checks, they arranged a video call.
That first screen-to-screen meeting was formal but warm. Saad's parents asked about Hina's work schedule in the hospital, while Hina's mother asked about Saad's family setup in Lahore. The focus was entirely on practical compatibility, shared values, and mutual respect.
We spent the first three months just figuring out if our families could blend, long before we worried about the visa process.
From first message to nikah
| When | What happened |
|---|---|
| Month 1 | Connection request accepted; mothers exchange initial messages. |
| Month 2 | First family video call; Hina and Saad begin speaking directly. |
| Month 3 | Two more family video calls to discuss logistics and expectations. |
| Month 5 | Hina and her parents travel to Lahore for the first in-person meeting. |
| Month 6 | Both families agree; small nikah ceremony held in Lahore. |
| Month 7 | UK civil registration initiated; spouse visa application begins. |
Tea in Lahore and a practical decision
When Hina and her parents finally flew to Lahore in the fifth month, the groundwork had already been laid. They met at Saad's family home. Over trolley-loads of Kashmiri chai, kebabs, and mithai, the families saw how naturally they got on. Saad was grounded, respectful, and exactly as he had appeared on his video calls.
However, there was one significant difficulty to work through. Saad was the eldest son, and leaving his parents in Lahore to move to the UK was not a decision taken lightly. They spent hours discussing how they would manage the transition. Saad's parents were supportive, but the couple had to agree on a concrete plan for regular visits back to Pakistan and financial responsibilities. It required absolute honesty from both sides.
Once the expectations were clear, the decision felt natural. They held a small, dignified nikah in Lahore surrounded by close family, agreeing to delay the larger walima until Saad could move to Birmingham.
- Keep photos private until you feel comfortable with the family's basic background.
- Let parents lead the initial introductions to establish respect and serious intent.
- Discuss the logistical reality of visas and relocation before getting emotionally invested.
- Use video calls to gauge family dynamics before spending money on flights.
- Be transparent about family responsibilities, especially for eldest sons or daughters.
Today, Hina and Saad are settling into their home in Birmingham. Saad is preparing for his UK engineering accreditations while Hina continues her work at the hospital. Their weekends are a mix of exploring the Peak District and long Sunday video calls with Lahore, proving that a transatlantic rishta, when built on a foundation of honesty and family involvement, can bridge any distance.
